Good Start To 2014

My oh my!  Things have been incredible!  And by "things" I mean EVERYTHING.  School, relationships, work, depression, etc.  I don't even know where to begin.  I am so excited for this coming year!

I guess since everyone has been wondering who this Adam guy is I should start with that.  Adam and I met in September and went on our first date in November.  It was an instant connection and before I knew it I was going to bed every night with my face hurting from smiling so much because of him.  We took things relatively slow for the first two months.  We just casually dated and got to know each other.  I didn't want to jump into anything too quickly as I felt I was still figuring some stuff out within myself.  But, as of January 18 we called it official.  He lives in West Valley, which is about an hour away from where I live.  It kind of sucks because I am so used to seeing my significant other nearly every day, but I think it's a good change.  This gives me the opportunity to continue to focus on other important things as an individual and make sure I have time for myself and what I'd like to do, which is what I wanted for this year.  I didn't anticipate being in a relationship because I was so set on focusing on me, myself, and I.  Adam is just such a great guy I couldn't pass him up.  His family is truly amazing as well.  One of the most accepting and open groups of people I've ever met.  I have never enjoyed being around so many people at one time as I do with his family.  I get along with them well and I think they like me, too.  I am really looking forward to mine and Adam's time together in the future.  We compliment each other well and there has never been a dull moment when I'm around him.

Oh, and he is pretty much super handsome.  That's a bonus on top of his outstanding personality.  Adam, if you are reading this, I hope your face hurts just as much as mine does!  You make me very happy :)

Next up, school!  A lot of neat stuff is happening with college.  I think I finally found my true calling.  Family studies!  I know, I know, many of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "How is this any different than the last 7 times?"  Truth is, I didn't realize how passionate about relationships I was until recently.  I absolutely love seeing the interpersonal dynamics between people, families, and couples.  The psychology behind is pretty neat too.  The program is simple, but so far I have learned more about marriages and relationships in two weeks than I have in my entire life.  I am super stoked.  It's looking like I'll be able to graduate in Spring of 2015 if I do everything right.  I'll be going through the program with a new friend, Mark, who is in two of my classes.  In the upcoming semesters we will be taking the same classes at the same time, so we will be seeing a lot of each other.  He is pretty smart and wants to be a marriage counselor.  He is only the second person I've actually met in college that I've became friends with...and I've been in college a pretty long time!  I'm going to take part in academic honors within the family studies department.  I'll be graduating with a shiny metal and an awesome resume because of it.  It's going to take some extra work, but I'm looking forward to it.  I'll also be applying to be a family studies officer.  They only have 10 positions open, so hopefully I'll get chosen! I have a good feeling about it.

I went to the doctor last week and discussed my current status with depression and anxiety.  The 5 mg of Lexapro I was prescribed isn't enough anymore.  My body has built up a tolerance to that dosage, so I am now taking 10 mg instead.  My doctor is concerned about the side effects I experienced on the 5 mg, and is wondering if they will worsen on a higher dosage.  Low blood pressure is by far the worst.  I'm lucky I haven't fainted yet because of it.  I have to keep a close eye on what my activity level is and my body position, specifically laying down and sitting and then standing up.  I can deal with the vivid dreams, and my doctor thinks the night sweats were because of anxiety.  They have gotten a lot less, which I am thankful for.  The therapist I have been seeing has helped immensely with guiding me through the trauma with Foxy.  We practiced grounding exercises and I use them pretty frequently here at home and at school.  They make life much easier.  Sometimes I think being strong about what happened has made me callused to my true emotions and feelings towards the accident.  It's almost like I need to talk to him when I'm having a flashback or when I'm really upset about it.  I don't think that's going to happen though.  I can't let my guard down long enough for that to happen.  I'm going to begin discussing the stress of my family at our next session.  I think that has caused a lot of building anxiety since the summer.

Finally, horse stuff.  Buck has been pretty upset at me lately.  I haven't been outside nearly as much as I should be for a couple reasons, but it's no excuse.  I need to spend a few days giving him the TLC he deserves and wants!  I've picked up a few clients for natural horsemanship.  Some horses (and people) are going to be much easier than others.  For the more difficult ones I'm going to need to stretch my knowledge.  It will be a learning curve.  I'm hoping to get help from Jennie and Larry, as well as Craig and Connie, when I need it.  So far, so good though.  I am nervous about people looking up to me like they are.  I swear some of them think I'm some protege or something.  I know I'm good at what I do with horses, but it is a lot of pressure and I want to be enough for what others are expecting of me.  By no means am I a professional...I won't take up anything I don't think I can handle or give the appropriate help to.  I believe that as I work with my clients more and start seeing improvements within the person and horse I'll feel better about it.  As of right now it's a bit nerve racking though and I wish I had some guidance.

So I think that's about it.  "Things" are happening nicely and life is exciting! I feel confident, in control, and positive.  I hope everything is going well with my family and friends that I don't talk to as often as I should.  I know some pretty cool things have been happening!  I am watching and paying attention to lives other than my own, don't worry ;)   Oh, and sorry for the lack of pictures.  I haven't been taking too many as of late because of the weather.