Choose, Practice, Repeat

Recently, I've been hearing a lot of people talk about how difficult their lives are in one way or another.  I've always been a firm believer in if you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude.  "Easier said than done," is the typical response back.  But is it?  Is choosing to be happy really that hard?  Is putting your energy towards positive thoughts and actions so difficult it can't be accomplished?  Is inner peace really that far out of reach?  How do we move foward?

"No one saves us but ourselves.  No one can and no one may.  We ourselves must walk the path."

Buddha

Of course, I would have no right to discuss these questions unless I actually accomplished them for myself.  When my horse died on March 28, 2012 my world turned inside out. I struggled with more than just her passing and how it happened, but other emotions also resurfaced that I did not deal with properly when I was experiencing them.  I hated how I was feeling.  I hated not being able to get out of bed.  I hated how I was treating other people because of how I felt.  And then I discovered Buddhism.  I found my path as I was stumbling blindly through the forest of anger, confusion, regret, and sorrow.   I was suffering and I recognized I needed to and wanted to change.  I don't want to come off as a Buddhist advocate because I understand that what showed me peace is not necessarily what will show another person peace.  Regardless, however, if you are reading this the idea is being implanted into your mind as a possibility of hope, and that is the first step to finding your own inner peace if you choose to do so, whether it's through Buddhism or another source.

Choosing to be Happy

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” 

Denis Waitley

No one wants to be unhappy, but let's be honest with ourselves, it is easy to be unhappy.  Negative energy surrounds so many things in this world it is hard to get away from it successfully unless we become aware of its looming presence.  We absorb this energy and put it into our bodies like a supplement we can never get enough of.  Negative energy is addictive and it spreads to others like wild fire.  But where there is darkness, there is light.  Darkness cannot hide from the light because darkness is simply the absence of light!  Positive energy comes from everywhere!  Rocks, trees, animals, the clouds, the soil we walk on.  Everything radiates with peace and beauty!  When we choose to allow positive energy to flood our lives instead of the negative energy, we are choosing to take the first step towards happiness, and in turn, peace.

In order to be happy you have to choose to be happy.  It is a choice!  Isn't that great?  Consciously doing things that make you happy will benefit you more than you think when you turn them into habits.  For me, personally, a few things that make me happy include:

Being genuine.  This means when I say thank you or give someone a compliment, I mean it with all my heart and mind.  If I don't mean it, I won't say it.

Appreciating the small, usually ignored things in life.  I love photographing insects and other small creatures because they are so often ignored and unappreciated.  Beauty is everywhere, but our minds and bodies are moving so fast all the time we look passed these small things in life.  We truly miss out on so much when we cannot slow down.

Surrounding myself with things that give off positive energy.  Since I am usually pretty good at reading basic levels of energy, I avoid things that would ruin my energy by infecting it with bad energy.  If I surround myself with good, I will be good.

Be Honest With Yourself and Get Out of Your Own Way
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."

Carl Jung

When we stop hiding from ourselves and being honest about who we are, a whole new world opens up.  Before you know it, that mask you think you have to put on every morning melts away.  If you act like someone you're not, you'll attract people who aren't meant to be with you because you're not being you.  The right people begin coming to you when you begin acting like you, not who you've been trying to be.  Being able to look inside and know what you love and what you wish to change about yourself is so much better (and easier) than looking on the outside and wishing you could be the person who is good enough for you to love.  

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

Buddha

We are so good at getting in our own way because we are afraid of being scared of ourselves.  Internal fear is only temporary if we choose to act on making things different for ourselves.  If we continue to be scared, we will continue to wish and not do.  Be brave!

Self-Affirmation and Positive Thought

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”
Buddha

Too often I hear my friends say, "I can't..." "I don't..." "I won't..." "It's impossible for me..."  Some people have gotten into such a nasty habit of talking down on themselves they honestly believe they can't do this, or that, and especially not that!  

I feel this topic is pretty straight forward and Buddha said it exactly how it is.  We are what we think, and what we think we become.  If we focus on negative thought, we will feel negative.  If we focus on positive thought, we will feel positive.  Focus can be hard to attain, but that does not mean someone "can't" do it, it's if they choose to not do it.  For someone who is used to talking down on themselves, beginning the positive self-affirmation change can be very difficult.  For me the transition was easy because I was so determined to change my thought pattern, so I'm going to say I probably should not be giving advice on how to change it for others who are struggling because I simply do not understand.  There are many helpful websites and books available that can get you on your way, however.

Inner Peace
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Peace.  Such a simple world, and yet so many of us cannot attain even a fraction of it.  When was the last time you felt at peace with yourself? What about the world?  The last time I felt at peace with my surroundings was a few days ago when I was watching a small snail crawl over another snail.  Simple, yes, but the amount of peace I allowed myself to feel was immense.  It is one of the greatest things about nature. Peace is everywhere if we choose to feel it!  Inner peace is the feeling of mental or spiritual peace within one's self.  A lot of spiritual practices believe that inner peace is the experience of knowing yourself.   It is associated with the feeling of being happy and/or content in the way things are.  One of my favorite sayings from Buddhism is, "Drishta dharma sukha viharin."  It means, "Dwelling happily in things as they are."  Meditation plays a key role in reaching this calm and splendid feeling.  Meditation does not need to be an intense session at all.  I do it while at a stop light, waiting in an office, or before I go to bed.  When you're done reading this submission, take five minutes to yourself.  Close your eyes and listen to your breath.  Listen to your heart, your lungs, your muscles and skin.  Leave your mind.  Focus on your body.  Feel the inner peace that surrounds you and be happy that you are finally choosing to recognize its gentle power.

Moving Forward in the Right Direction

How we choose live our lives is a choice that can be made every minute, of every hour, of every day.  Now, if we aren't aware of these choices we are typically making the wrong ones because it's easy to not be aware and then blame it on another circumstance once you realize you're unhappy.  Becoming aware of the choices you make is key to make the right choices for yourself.

It is important to note that pain can cause suffering, but suffering is a choice we make.  Suffering is not a circumstance, it is an internal choice.  Recognizing that life is filled with suffering and acknowledging its presence in our lives is important, but recognizing what causes the suffering within us is even more important.  Once we recognize what causes our suffering, we can take care of it, treating it like a baby until it matures into something greater.  If we choose to see our suffering as a never ending force, it will never leave and we will suffer eternally.   If we choose to see our suffering as a positive lesson from life, we can reach enlightenment and end our suffering.

Now, don't get me wrong, it has taken me a long year of learning, meditating, and dedicating myself to finding inner peace and I still haven't attained it to the extent that I wish.  Sometimes I slip and forget my teachings, but I must remember, I am only human.  I knew climbing this mountain would not be easy because my mind has been out of shape for so many years, but I know that I can do it.  I must practice, meditate, and cherish every moment, feeling, and thought.  I chose to take care of myself after I felt I had hit rock bottom, and I implore you to do the same before you've hit your lowest point, too.  You are the only person who can.  You may struggle, but remember, as Buddha says, "A jug fills drop by drop."

Choose, Practice, Repeat.