Smiley Faces All The Way Around!

Things have been sooo much better since I went to the doctor!  My anxiety has plummeted and my concentration (most days) is spot on.  Although not much time has passed, I think the medication has really done a lot for me.

For the first three nights when I started Lexapro (the anti depressant) I stayed up for about 72 hours straight.  I felt like I was going to die.  I could not sleep for the life of me.  I ended up calling my doctor because I had a feeling it was due to the medication.  Sure enough, it was!  I was taking 10 mg of Lexapro before bed.  10 mg was way too much for my brain and as a result it completely stopped making serotonin.  Serotonin is responsible for sleep, as well as depression.  So my doctor told me to cut my pill in half and take 5 mg in the morning instead.  I've been getting about seven hours of sleep a night, whereas before I was getting between four and five and half.  I'm now waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning, but I am okay with that.  It is so much better than waking up several times at night and being unable to go through my sleep cycles like I should be able to.  I've also not been needing to take naps anymore.  I have enough energy to last the entire day and keep my focus on what it needs to be.  So cool! AMAZING! I LOVE IT!

My anxiety is the thing I have noticed the most.  I haven't felt overwhelmed, crazy, or worry-ridden for about a week.  Nothing has changed as far as what's going on in my life: school, family, financial issues, etc., so I think it is pretty awesome what it has done for me so far.  I feel like I can breathe again!  What a feeling!  I want to get out of bed and I want to do things :) :) :)  It's just awesome.

I did meet with a therapist at BHI to start working through my baggage.  It was just a consultation--finding out where I'm at, why I decided to get help, and what I want to work on.  My next appointment is December 12, but hopefully I'll be called in sooner if someone cancels.  I am looking forward to the benefits of therapy in combination with the medication.  I'm going to be on top of the world!

On Sunday I hauled a bunch of hay.  Like, A LOT of hay!  It was really fun though and I enjoyed it immensely.  The company is always something that makes it worth while.  I am so very thankful to be surrounded by the supporting adults in my life.  Craig and Connie, in specific, have really opened their arms in caring about my worries and are giving me the means to let go of some of them.  They always tell me to bring Buck over and spend time "horsing around."  I need that encouragement so I make sure I am making time for myself and the things I love doing.  They've also offered some odds jobs to me to make a bit of money on the side.  It will help so much.  Having an income, even if it is unsteady and small, will help pay for things like like cat food and litter, gas, oil changes, shampoo, self-help books, and so on, without having to dip into my savings too much.  Part of me wants to stay in Utah after I get my degree just so I can continue to be a part of this wonderful group of people I consider my family.

Sometimes life gives you more than you can handle.  In my case, my amygdala really wasn't okay with that!  But everything works out in one way or another.  In my case, getting on medication wasn't my ideal solution, but it has certainly helped.  I am very thankful to have the resources I have in order to get the help I've wanted.  I cannot say enough how much I am looking forward to my life in the next couple months.  I'm even feeling better about being up at Weber everyday next semester.  Now that is really saying something!