All I Want To Do...

I really dislike school.

All I want to do is play with horses!

Do you know why? Because I'm good at it.

I have so many opportunities available to me right now that involve horses I feel like a fool to walk away from them or put them on hold.  Teaching elementary aged children will be enjoyable, but it isn't what I want to do.  I want to work with horses!  I want to give lessons, be EAGALA certified (equine specialist), be instructor certified, and maybe train some horses.  Sigh.  But it isn't "practical." 

Bucket!  What an incredible horse.  What an incredible journey, for both of us!  I'm starting to put a new video together of our progress.  It's a lot sooner than I thought it would be, which is a great thing! I didn't anticipate getting this far with Buck in such a short amount of time, but he has really surprised me (in a good way).  I feel completely safe with him.  He and I truly have a partnership, and I love testing it.  Of course I am safe about "testing the limits", don't get me wrong.  If something were to happen that resulted in mine or Buck's injury, it would be my fault.  I say this with such confidence because if something were to happen, I would be the one that put us in a situation that we were not prepared for.  

My neighbors really dislike watching what Buck and I do.  They think I'm being reckless and irresponsible by not using a bridle or saddle.  I can understand why they feel the way they do.  I mean, they are the "traditional" type folks and don't know too much about horses in general, but they should be able to see the relationship Buck and I have.  It is pretty obvious.  When a girl can canter her horse in an open field with nothing on him but a string around his neck, bring him to a stop with ease, turn him any which way, and then have the horse fall asleep while having a conversation with strangers, that shows something pretty incredible.  But hey, maybe I'm wrong ;)

 

I feel a lack of direction.  I don't know where I am going, which is intimidating for me.  I know I will be in school for the next two and half years finishing my degree, but what happens after that? I know I don't need to be that far prepared, but I've always had a plan, always.  I guess I just need to start being familiar with the idea that life is, in fact, unpredictable.  Crazy concept right there.  I was thinking about where I would be the most comfortable, and I'm a little torn.  I really enjoy living in Utah.  I love the horsey people I have connections with, the land is amazing, and it has a good economy.  However, the LDS population makes me pretty hesitant to raise a family there that is not LDS.  I know the struggles I had growing up because I wasn't part of the Church, and my mom validates those struggles with her own experiences.  I also want to be close to family.  I will follow my parents, but I don't think they'd be happy living in Utah.  I just don't know!  I'm going to have to wait to figure this out.  All I can do for right now is gather as much information as possible about areas that interest me in the states I'd consider living in.

I've had a decent Thanksgiving break so far.  A lot of people that I'm not used to seeing.  I met two cousin's for the first time...we didn't say a word to each other, ha.  It's like, we haven't know each other for so long, why start now?  It's not like we are going to see each other any more than we already have.  Seeing my grandma, grandpa, aunt, and uncle has been nice though.  I'll be seeing my sister and Jonathan today, which I'm super stoked about.  Then heading home on Sunday!  

My antidepressants are still working (YES!).  A few side affects have appeared though.  My blood pressure is low due to the medication, so I need to increase my sodium intake and take precautions when doing physical activity.  I've also been having really vivid dreams.  I looked it up because I used to never dream and now for the last week or so I've been having super intense dreams that are mostly unpleasant.  Anyway, it's called REM suppression and it is pretty common with antidepressants.  The dreams suck for the most part, but so far they haven't been anything too terrifying so I'm dealing.  They don't cause any harm besides some emotional disturbance...and annoyance. Ha.

Well, tallyho! Time to have breakfast and then get on the road, AGAIN.